I have my Biochemistry final on Friday, so of course I've been messing around playing video games. Just kidding, I'm not really, but the temptation is there. I barely have enough time to even write this. I thought I'd just give a little review on a game that I was playing recently on a Super Nintendo emulator.


It's called Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures, and it just might be the worst game I've ever played. Granted, it's fun because you're Indiana Jones, the main character of what might be the best trilogy ever, but after the title screen, everything goes downhill. Basically it's a huge rip-off of the Super Star Wars games, which were awesome. However, rather than make three games like they did in that series, they jammed all three movies into one game. How did they fit it all into one game, you ask. Well, it involved sucking all the life and humor and everything thing that made the Indiana Jones movies what they were. Once that process was complete, they easily fit into one game with plenty of room to spare. And so I guess Lucas Arts had a lot of "suck" lying around in the back room, so they threw A LOT of it in there.

The problem with making games based on movies is that it doesn't seem like there's enough material for the developers to work with in designing levels, so they kinda make up things that weren't in the movie. For example, in Raiders of the Lost Ark, when Indy goes down into the Well of Souls to find the Ark of the Covenant with that guy who played Gimli in LOTR, they pretty much just find it right away sitting right there. Well, in the game, you go it alone, and it takes about 10 minutes to get to the thing after jumping off walls and jumping over pits of snakes and spikes. Oh yeah, also, the Nazis are already down there. So...I dunno, maybe I missed something in the movie but I remember there just being snakes in there.

Also, who could forget the scene from Raiders when Indy is running after a cart where a guy, who can apparently take 10 or 15 bullets before dying, is throwing an endless supply of hay behind him (which can somehow kill Indy in one hit, if he isn't taken over by the scrolling screen before) and then once Indy kills him and jumps onto the cart, he for no reason throws his gun away as he's getting into a fist fight with a guy that's probably 3 times his size? Oh, nevermind. That wasn't in the movie.

I have many more gripes with this game, but not a lot of time so I'll just say one more. There seem to be rats in almost every level. All 28 of them. Except for the level where you're going down the snowy hill on the life raft because that really would be ridiculous. The thing about the rats is there's no way to kill them. You can't use your whip on them, can't jump on them, nothing. So basically when you're in a fire fight with a Nazi, you should be worrying more about a rat touching you than actually catching a bullet. Something is wrong with that.

Also, I don't remember Indy whip-fighting Belloq, the French archaeologist, after he opens the Ark whilst dodging the escaped souls. Didn't the power of God make his body just explode? Indy and his girl were tied to the pole the whole time.

Alright, back to studying.

Listening To: MC Chris - MC Chris Ownz
I am just a cartoon-making rapper
You think I'm lying
Everybody bust a move
Like it is that rave in Zion