Greetings, readers. Sorry for not updating very frequently. I have about 11 weeks of school left this year and those 11 weeks consist of pretty much the same amount or perhaps more work than the 29 weeks that came before them. So basically I am swamped and you shouldn't expect to hear from me too often. But don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you, and I am still alive.

I didn't want to leak the news on this prank I pulled simply because it was on one of my readers, but the cat is out of the bag now, so I can talk about it. My friend Rob goes to law school in New York. I wanted to send him a b-day present last month, and one day while perusing the local GameStop, I saw a copy of the Olsen twins' movie New York Minute sitting on the shelves. So I bought it, which was extremely awkward. Along with the movie, I found a picture I had on my computer of Rob hanging out with the Olsen twins and put it in the DVD case along with the movie:I put it in an envelope and on the return address, I put "NYC Welcoming Committee", hoping that he would see that the postmark was actually from Chicago and he would be able to use this system I like to call the "Process of Elimination" to determine that who and where it came from. However, he didn't. And he's going to be a lawyer. Anyway, after waiting a week and a half after I sent it, I finally asked Rob if he had received it. Somehow, a friend of his who only goes by the cryptic name "BK" convinced him that it was actually from him. The nerve!

Rob recently replied via e-mail. His response is so moronic I'm not even going to post it here. It looks worse than the Britney sans hair pictures. Instead, I'll make my public reply:


This may not make a whole lot of sense to some of you, but I'll tell you Rob will probably feel pretty enraged when he comes across this. Rob, as we say in the basketball community, the ball is "in your court".

Also, readers, I would hate to disappoint you without a list of the weird things I'm thinking when I wake up in the morning for February 2007:

February 1, 2007 - "Yeah, like a soldier."
February 4, 2007 - "Oh God. Tell me you have mechanoreceptors."
February 5, 2007 - "I was talking to Billy Joel about some kind of internship."
February 7, 2007 - "Well then. You were very far from the action, weren't you?"
February 8, 2007 - "I don't know why someone would wear that."
February 10, 2007 - "Damn, the shellacking is pretty good."
February 20, 2007 - "How is there not organized music in there?"
February 21, 2007 - "You got a bag for the dog...that's pretty cool."
February 22, 2007 - "Brother Rich is the best."
February 23, 2007 - "And so we're kinda like partners...get it?"
February 26, 2007 - "Weighting, lifting, skiing, jumping. The four forms of motion."
February 28, 2007 - "Here's a list of people from the movie that you can look up on Myspace."

Listening To: Less Than Jake - The Brightest Bulb Has Burned Out
With stronger drinks and longer lines
It's not that big a surprise
That you're feeling more dead than alive.